What Road Are You On?

I recently returned from Faithwalkers 2008. The theme this year was Totally Committed. For those of you who stumbled across this blog and aren't in a Great Commission church, Faithwalkers is an annual conference held in December. Its 4 days of worshipping God through music and listening to phenomenal teachings from some of the most wise, authentic and humble Christian men and women I have ever met. Its a mountain top experience to end one year and begin a new one.

Because we had to drive around 6 hours each way, I started thinking about journeys and roads and where they lead. I said in a previous post I am inspired by song lyrics (2009 might just be the year of the song lyric blog. I don't know yet, but it is shaping up to be that way.) There are a lot of songs out there about roads: On The Road Again. Country Roads (Take me Home). Life is a Highway (maybe that's a lyric and not a title) - Sorry I should clarify - I'm inspired by music, not a music aficionado. Most of the time I don't know who sings a song or what year it came out. I can't always tell the difference between Stellar Kart, Disciple or Relient K although I can usually keep Toby Mac straight.

But I do know how hard a song hits me in the head.

At Faithwalkers I heard The Road To Damascus (sung by Jeromy Darling) Here's a snippet:
[down] The road to Damascus
I felt the power of Your hand
And the road through your mercy
Shows me everything I am
And I am Yours

Think about what happened on the road to Damascus - a cruel judgemental Christian killer was transformed into a man who loved Jesus so much he spent the rest of his life teaching everyone about Him.

My own Damascus road of transformation involved a divorce and another subsequent legal battle. I wanted God to be there but I also thought I knew how He should show up - how it should look and how He would vindicate me. Guess what - it didn't happen that way. I still got divorced. I won the legal battle only because legally the judge's hands were tied (that's the words on the brief from the judge's own hand).

That's not really what I wanted to hear.

I was the good one. I was the Christian.

But on that road the scales came off of my eyes in a sense - I saw my judgemental side, my arrogance, my hardness. My Christian walk wasn't authentic, it was filled with checklists and rules, not the love of Christ. I had the heart of a Pharisee, and Jesus Christ took me down a a long and winding road, rocky and harsh at times, that ultimately led to freedom. Because when our hearts are hard and crusty, it takes some force to break them.

In Neil Anderson's Victory Over the Darkness, he talks about "who you are in Christ" - accepted, secure, significant. That's what we want, what we need. But at the start of the road, you don't feel that way. You might feel over confident, proud, secure in yourself but not in God, or secure in the god you create because that's how you want him to be, but not secure in the truth that no matter what the circumstances look like, you are loved by the Almighty (if you don't believe it check out Romans 8:38-39). When you see "everything you are", you get stuck on whats wrong. I think that's why I love the last line of Jeromy's song so much.

I am Yours.


See if I just see everything I am, its not pretty because I see with my own eyes - overly smug or overly critical. Neither of those attitudes are right. But what God sees is His kid - His more-than-slightly-imperfect, battered & bruised, but shining in the sun little girl. And He loves me, warts and all.

I am His.

Its been over 8 years since I started down my Damascus road. Maybe you are on one now - at the beginning, in the middle, or (Praise God) nearing the end. No matter where you are in your travels, always remember God is with you.

Roads take us places.

Journeys change us.

Where will your 2009 journey take you?

What road are you on?
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