True Story

I am a storyteller
Quite brilliant if I do say so
I tell them tales they want to hear
And they believe it's me they know
But you know better
Chorus:
You see my imperfections
Still you say I'm a masterpiece
A marvelous reflection
The image of Yourself in me
You paint with strokes of grace
Undoing my disguise
You say beauty lies
in the true story
excerpt from True Story by Ginny Owens (from the album Something More)

We all tell stories. Sometimes we tell them so often we believe them - good or bad. Not all of them are true, even if we have come to think they are.

I once wrote a monologue and performed it at church. It was called The Real Me. It wasn't extremely flattering, but it was how I viewed myself and how I thought others viewed me. I was terribly afraid that when all the skeletons fell out of the closet, those people who once were my friends wouldn't be any more. That's how I look at the things I did BC (before Christ) and unfortunately several things that happened after I accepted Jesus as my savior. I had a judgmental streak a mile wide (through the grace of God its down to maybe a quarter mile wide now) and I thought I would be shunned if people "knew". Because that's what Christians do right - they shun you if you're not like them.

How wrong I was. I've met so many broken people who have been healed through God's strokes of grace. And now they share their experiences - actually tell others of their shortcomings and failures. And what an encouragement it is.

Because we don't have to be perfect. We don't have to be do-it-all, know-it-all supermoms (or super dads, or super friends)

We don't even have to be super Christians.

We have to be authentic.

We have to be true.

Because our whole life is a story. The trials we have help us grow (if we handle them right) but they can also help others overcome their struggles. God takes us places we don't want to go to teach us things we need to know. And to share what we've learned with others so they know they aren't going it along.

Because my whole life is a story ...
Of where I've been
And where you've brought me to
Of who I am
All because of you
excerpt from True Story by Ginny Owens (from the album Something More)

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The Reason for The Season

Isaiah 9:6

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.


Wishing you and yours a Blessed Holiday Season

Because you had a bad day ...

excerpt from Bad Day
by The Chipmunks

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day

Have I ever told you how inspiring song lyrics are to me? Seems like most of the times I get inspired (or whopped on the head) through song lyrics. I have music on a lot at work and in the car so its a nice convenient way for God to get through to me. This bad day however wasn't mine, but this song that my youngest listens to made me think of it.

I got a call from a friend recently and she said "If you have anything you're mad at me about or I'm doing wrong just tell me now ... this has been the worst day ever and I just want to get it out of the way all at once"

Wow, what an opening line to a phone call - this came after my "hello". A different me - the one before Christ started working on my heart - might have taken that opportunity to vent, to let loose on any and all minor irritations that could have happened in my dealings with her. Because you know they are there. Whenever we deal with people who don't meet our expectations or ideals (and lets face it, who does?), there is bound to be something that rubs us wrong. And wouldn't you just relish the opportunity to have carte blanche to categorically let fly on all of them!

Yeah, neither would I. My first thought was "I could never do that - kick you when you're down." I'm sure there was something sometime the ticked me off - most likely because that was my turn to have a bad day and anything that wasn't in line with my view of the world would tick me off.

But God calls us higher. I heard at church during our testimony time a lesson another dear sister has learned. She now asks herself "what does the law of love require from me?" when faced with ... anything. You see all of our actions and reactions are a choice. We can choose to respond out of hurt or fear or past lies influencing our behavior. OR we can choose the Law of Love.

I've said before I'm a rules of engagement kind of person. So I like rules ... laws are better because they are set in stone. But the Law of Love, while firm and fixed is also flexible - it bends to forgive, and it breaks to reach out to others - not breaking the law but breaking the hearts that keep it. For without breaking hearts, without breaking strongholds without breaking chains that bind us to the past, we limit the Law of Love. But when what holds us in the past is broken by (Christ's) Love, that same love, and what we can accomplish through it, is unlimited.

As we look forward to a new year, let us break the chains of the past, and embrace Christ's love ... asking ourselves each day, each hour, each minute ... What does the Law of Love require from me?

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On Perspective

One thing that we wanted when this blog was started was to share what God's been teaching us. We welcome stories of personal encounters with the Almighty. Its such an encouragement to hear how God meets us where we are and brings us where He wants us.

One thing I've learned recently is about perspective. A coworker of mine always says "the urgency changes depending on which side of the gallows you're on". My what a statement on perspective! The view changes doesn't it. And so often our view is downward, stuck on the circumstances and unable to look beyond what has a grip on us.

I find myself in that hole far more often than I'd like to be. Many times I recognize it, jump out and move on. But every once in a while I lose my view of God, I lose my heavenly perspective on a situation - maybe because it hits too close to home, maybe because it sends ripples of chaos through my neat and orderly world.

I was wrestling with this recently - feeling an imminent downward spiral. The interesting thing is that earlier in the week I had my review at work and my boss noted that when I don't have a good grip on things I tend to oversimplify or over "complexify" things. I boiled that down to if things are in chaos (no neat orderly world for me) then I will do whatever it takes to get things back in order, and quickly. Whatever it takes, that is, but trust God that its not chaos to Him.

That was my big "ah-ha" moment. I felt like God asked me "Do you trust Me to have a handle on it, even if you don't know where its going?". I have to say in that moment my immediate answer was "no" and I was convicted on that. So God's been showing that I need to trust Him because I am not always (maybe even often) going to know how things fit in the big picture.

That's hard for me. I'm a "rules of engagement" kind of gal. That gets me into trouble with legalistic thinking quite often, and I am beginning to understand better now why that is. My perspective is wrong. I'm looking at the pieces of circumstances or situations and trying to make them all fit and formulate an action plan and then execute it, without really knowing God's perspective. Lets be honest, sometimes without even seeking Gods perspective.

But God's been showing me I need to trust Him in more than I have before, because He is taking me into uncharted territory and He is the light that will show the way. And when traversing the unknown, you can't formulate an action plan more than a step or two ahead. So I'll trust Him to supply the next step and not worry about the one after that. It may be a long and harrowing journey, but if I'm going to trust God, I need to trust Him for everything, not just the little bits I let go of.

So that's what God has been teaching me in the last week or so. What's He been teaching you?

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Plans, Hope, A Future

Jer 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

In context, this verse is where God is talking to the Israelites during the Babylonian captivity. I don't know for sure at what point it is, but one thing is sure: God is telling the prisoners they will be free! But God also says in v13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" ... that's really where I want to focus, because I think that's where I need the most help.

I admit lately its been hard to find quiet times. I've taken to praying while I walk the dog (at 5AM even if I pray out loud in the 'hood, there isn't any one around to hear.) That's my time with God and I'm finding I need it more and more. You see I'm sensing a storm looming. I don't know what it is, really, I just have this sense of foreboding. It's not overcoming me, because I give it to God ... seeking guidance and wisdom from the source of all knowledge.

But it is present. And some days it feels like its growing - like a tidal wave. I don't mean to be morose (after all this blog is supposed to encourage), but I wanted to share that so if any one else feels that way they know they aren't alone. I was sharing this with some sisters just this morning, because I've learned not to hold on to these kinds of thoughts. They tend to weigh me down. Negativity left in isolation will overtake even the strongest person. So if you are feeling like you're on a downward spiral I would encourage you to talk to someone - to share those feelings, to get them out, and to pray together to help strengthen and encourage each other.

I feel this also is a call to prayer - to seek God with our whole collective hearts. That's something that sadly I usually only do in times of trial. I guess I'm getting a jump start on it this time around.

So over the next few weeks, I challenge you to seek God with your whole heart, to discover the plans He has for you, for your future, for your hope.

In Christ,
Maureen

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The Reality of Chronic Pain

There are different kinds of pain: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.

So what are these?

Physical pain is pretty obvious - I hurt!

Mental pain might not be so obvious. I define it as being over-stressed. Having too much to do or think about or try to control that it starts to erode your mental processes.

Emotional pain - really not obvious. To me, this is the deep seated hurt that drives your behavior. You may not even realize it. Like my need to control my environment stems from feeling out of control as a kid. Or my distaste for Girl Scouts coming out of an incident in second grade with my Brownie leaders. Stuff like that.

And spiritual pain ... I'm not sure really what I was thinking when I wrote that, but I'll give it a go. Maybe its believing things about God that are wrong. Being deceived or drawing wrong conclusions that ultimately hurt your relationship. Its probably a lot like emotional pain, but its focused on your relationship with God instead of yourself or other people.

So what?

I suffer from chronic physical pain. I learned to "rate" my pain on a scale from 0 to 10 years ago when I was diagnosed with migraines. Zero means no pain at all, ten means I'm curled up in the fetal position longing for heaven and my perfected body. I don't have many 10 days, but I have even fewer zero days. I don't know when the last time was that I felt no pain at all.

My back and hip are always at a low grade ache (lets call that a 2 or 3). Most folks would never know because its so much a part of my every day life, that dealing with it is instinctive. But when I sit too long, and then stand, my hip flares to a 6, sometimes 8. People notice then. A pronounced limp is pretty hard to miss.

I also have to deal with lingering side effects of a virus (parvovirus human variant B19 to be exact) that I had in the spring ... arthritic like joint pain. It's not been bad lately. In fact I'm hoping that maybe its gone. But yet, I am dreading the coming winter because the cold in the spring & summer made it worse.

So that causes mental pain ... Will we have as bad a winter this year and will I hurt like before?

And the camping trip, while an absolute blast, caused pain too. I got too cold. I didn't sleep well. I was stiff and sore from sleeping some where other than my soft comfy bed.

That pain though, I wouldn't' trade for the world. Because some pain is worth it.

Like the pain Christ suffered. I'm no where near that level even on a bad day. If I was rating, based on what I've read and saw in the movie The Passion, that would be a 30 or 40 on a scale of 10. So far beyond anything we, here in the safety and security of the USA, can even imagine.

But yet the Bible says Christ endured the cross "for the joy set before Him" (Heb 12:2).

That joy was us. Our salvation. Our chance to spend eternity in heaven where the pain (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual) will be gone.

That was a price worth paying to Jesus. Because He sees our worth, our value.

Makes me wonder if my pain is for something.

I know I have developed a more disciplined prayer life and I know when I've tended to be less disciplined I've hurt more. Now that's not God saying "Pray now or I'll hurt you". Its me focusing on the things that aren't how I want them. I tend to get discouraged more when my eyes aren't "on things above". I look for what's wrong, instead of whats good and true.

Do you ever do that? Do you let your physical pain cloud your thinking? Or your emotional pain drive your behavior? Does spiritual pain cause you to believe things about God that just aren't true. These things can be the footholds Satan is looking for to get a grip on your heart.

So I am going to try and focus rightly. To focus on God. I'm going to follow David's example when things aren't how I want them. David wrote what I like to call the "rant & praise" psalms. I'll rant (because I'm human and things aren't how I want them) but then I'll praise (because its the right thing to do). I'll remember all that God has done for me in the midst of things not being how I want them and I'll look for the good things (like discipline in prayer coming from dealing with chronic physical pain)

Any one care to join me?

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One with the Dirt

That's the theme of our not quite annual ("occasional" probably describes it best!) singles ministry camping trip.

I for one am not much of a camper, but since I have such good friends, once every few years I do consent to go with them. I am actually really looking forward to this year's trip. It will be great to get away, hang out with friends and soak up the fresh air and sunshine.

This year it's at Colo, Iowa and we've got (I think) 12 hearty souls who are roughing it with us. This is exactly what we wanted to have come out of last summer's retreat ... relationship building by just doing stuff together. I think that's why I am so much more excited about it this time around (that and it will be day time highs of mid 60s, overnight lows in the low 40s and no bugs or humidity to speak of).

I can't wait to see the friends I made at the retreat and see how life's been going since July.

I want to hear about their plans for the fall and maybe about upcoming holiday traditions.

I want to play cards and take part in the looming "Boggle throw down" (board games can get out of hand with our group :o)

I want to talk to them about what God's been doing in their lives and share what He's been teaching me.

That's totally a God-thing too. Normally, I'm happy just keeping everything to myself. But I'll share this one thing I've been learning lately ... its not good to isolate yourself. Its so much easier to succumb to negative thoughts and slide down that slippery slope into depression or anger (anger tends to be my reaction of choice) when you don't have any one around or you keep them at arm's length.

I don't think that's how God wants us to be any way. Why would there be so many scriptures on fellowship , encouraging and building each other up and carrying each others burdens. You can't do that for others in isolation and others can't do that for you if you isolate yourself.

So look for opportunities to fellowship. Maybe you can't join in a One With The Dirt weekend camping extravaganza, but you can go to lunch with a friend, meet for coffee, or just chat on the phone.

Be intentional about fellowship.

Be aware of opportunities God places before you.

Be open to things you might not normally do (like a One With The Dirt weekend camping extravaganza :o)

But most of all, have fun!



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