The hardest thing a parent has to do ...

I've had to do some hard things in my 16+ years as a parent ...

... I had to take my babies to daycare. That got easier as time went on but then ...

...I had to send them off to Kindergarten. It didn't seem as safe as the little day care they went to, but they did well. And then came ...

...middle school and the BUS and being home alone for a whole 30 minutes every day. This was extremely difficult for me because I had to trust that they learned all the stuff they were supposed to in the previous 12 years and would remember it (don't answer the door, don't answer the phone unless you know who it is etc etc). We made it through the middle school years and ...

...on to High School, where everything is so much bigger and (to the mom) so much scarier.

In between all of this, I had to take my daughter to the police department after she snuck out one night so she could learn "what might have happened". The "might have" was a lot harder to think about than what did happen which was just a phone call in the middle of the night. I was torn between being so thankful she was OK to being so angry at what she did.

But yesterday I had to do the hardest thing as parent that I have ever had to do ... I had to tell my 14 yr old that a class mate and friend had been killed in an accident over the weekend. At 14 you should not have to go to funerals for your friends. She is doing OK so far. I think I am having more trouble with it. My mother's heart breaks for his parents, and all the fears of "what if this happened to my baby" parade through my thoughts.

This seems to make no sense, but a lot of things that happen in life fall into this category. This is where trusting in God and who He is becomes the hardest.

By all accounts, Scottie was a fun loving, outgoing boy with lots of friends. He was also a believer . I pray that this sustains his family.

My prayers go out to the McCarthy & Mosinksi families for God's peace and comfort in this time of sorrow.

The Christian "F" Word

I was listening to Jon Acuff today - a talk he gave at a church conference.  You can listen to the whole thing here - and don't laugh at booty, God, booty - its really serious stuff!

Anyway he talked about the Christian "F" word. 

What is it you ask ... it's "Fine". 

We use it alot don't we. 

If God is doing great things , we're awesome, or we're great, or we're blessed ...

If we are at a cross roads, we're seeking counsel or we're praying ...

If there is a trial, we're persevering ....

But if we are painting a picture for others, or if we are avoiding an issue, or if we don't want to get too close or too deep - we're "fine". 

That's it, just "fine". 

Now sometimes it will be true - we will be fine - the "and dandy" kind of fine. 

But if you listen closely, you can tell by how its said, how its clipped at the end, that things really aren't as the answer implies. This is the kind of "fine" that has implied quotes (every body hands up and make the double quote marks with your fingers!)

I'm not sure why we do it.  I'm guilty of it quite often. 

Maybe its because we know if we admit anything we'll have to take a closer look at ourselves - if we're "fine" then we're "fine" and we don't have to ...

Or maybe its because we don't think the other person really wants to hear all the gory details ... and that may be true too.  But it seems a different answer, an honest answer, even if it is devoid of the details might be better then just being "fine", especially between brothers and sisters in Christ.

Let's not be "fine" any more. 

Lets be honest.

Let's be sick. 

Let's let the Great Physician heal every part of us - not just the parts we decide to let Him into. 

Because if we're "fine" then we really don't need Him, do we?

House of Cards

Sometimes life feel like a house of cards. 

Each step builds on the previous step unless and until an unsteady hand or an unexpected jostle sends the whole things plummetting to the table top in a large and unruly mess

I hate messes.

Oh My-Lanta - Jon Acuff does it again

On the surface this post by Jon Acuff about grumbling is pretty funny ... I mean Church Olympics!!! How funny is that!

And anyone who grew up Catholic like I did, probably is a master at the art of palm branch fencing (my brother and I were stealth palm branch fighters - at least I don't think my mom ever knew)

But it makes you think too - not just about other people - those who can never be happy in spite of all they are blessed with because this one little stinking THING isn't the way they want it, but also about our own thoughts and attitudes that over shadow the good things in life. That one thing dominates.

I know - I'm a master at that too.

I'm single - so who cares that I have a wonderful church family and a close circle of dear friends. It doesn't matter that I have a job (in fact a great job) in these hard economic times or that I am in relatively good health considering the polluted gene pool I call my family medical history. I'm single, I don't want to be single and that one fact is what defines me

Ever have thoughts like that. I used to revel in them. Don't now. Can't really. I have too many blessings in my life.

Now when I am tempted to nose dive into that "place", I force myself to look at what God has blessed me with - job, home, family, church. Lets not forget Salvation - that should have been #1 on the list.

That's what I do to pull my head out of the quagmire of thoughts. Its not always easy, but its well worth it ... to look up into the light of blessing that surrounds me.

So what do you do when the negativity threatens to overwhelm?

Living Mary in a Martha World

You know the story - two sisters in Bethany back in the day - one cooks and cleans all day the other sits around listening to Jesus talk. In the end Jesus said Mary choose the better way.
I've always had trouble with that. I'm a Martha - definitely. Gimme a task list and some time to accomplish it and I'm off and running. Trouble is sometimes the goal becomes more important than the people involved in the task. It becomes a battle between getting the job done and maintaining a relationship.

That's what happened with Martha. Maybe she really did have the right attitude at first. Then more of the disciples stopped by - more cooking, more clean up and there was Mary just sitting on the floor. I can really relate to that.

It happened on a church project once. We were organizing a special service and some things happened during the process that caused hard feeling. People were offended and hurt, but the service - well that was a screaming success - at least on the surface where the world might judge.

It wasn't until later, when our pastor got us all together to sort through some of the mess that followed that a different perspective came out - a more godly one. He said if relationships are damage, it isn't a success in God's eyes.

The checklist isn't all important - the relationships, the heart, the attitude - those are of more concern to God.

Those are where the clashes are, the weak spots in our armor so to speak.

Just as Jesus said - Mary did choose the better way. She chose to sit at the feet of her Master and listen to His voice. Its not that Martha's task list was wrong - just her attitude.

Next time you are tempted to choose tasks over people, remember this story. Try living Mary in this goal oriented Martha world and let the relationship be most important.

Celebrating Freedom

Consider freedom. What would you do if your freedom was being threatened? How far would you go to protect it?

Celebrate freedom. This 4th of July remember all those who have fought for your freedom - those men & women who have taken the job of defender so that the rest of us can live in peace.

Treasure freedom. Cherish it - it is a blessing that not all the world enjoys.

Happy 4th!

Feeling Uninspired

When this blog was started, I committeed myself to one entry per month.  I was doing better than that, then January hit, and there was a crisis and it seemed like God was inspiring me to use song lyrics to blog about faith and things. 

Fast forward ... crisis over ... there are still great songs out there (Born Again, Hold my Heart, and anything by TFK/FM Static - its just so bouncy!)  but yet I find myself blogging less.   I said to myself, I'm just not "inspired", but you'd think that not being in a crisis or helping a friend through a crisis or witnessing a crisis on TV would be incredibly inspiring.  I mean whats more inspiring than being safe and happy and contented?

This past Sunday my pastor spoke on the Bible Basics of Knowing God's Will (I do the sermon slides so the title does have to be in that initial upper case :o).  And it got me thinking about writing ...

I used to think that if God wanted me to write, then He would just fill my head with stuff and I'd translate it to paper (or pixels as the case may be).  After all, thats how most of this blog came into being.  But maybe that thinking is backwards - maybe if I want to write for God I ought to just write ... its not rocket science after all.  I don't have to be all profound and whatnot.

Maybe God knows I love to write and have been doing it since junior high - with notebooks filled with stories no one will ever see - and here is one opportunity to write and actually have people read it [waving to our  "fan" now]. 

And what could be more inspiring than an opportunity to do something I love and maybe pass on a little of God's love and life experience along the way.

Hmmmm ... I'm kinda feeling inspired now.  I bet there is a song lyric for that!